wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
