She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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