who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
