I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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