Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
