Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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