part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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