I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
