Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
