So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
