I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
