We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Randomize
