i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
