I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
