OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
