she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
