I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
