So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
