Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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