sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
