i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
