Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
