and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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