dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
