Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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