Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
