We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
