new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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