whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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