You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
