The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize