Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
