you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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