I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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