You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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