I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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