Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
