okay pat passed out under dana's car
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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