Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
