he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
