Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
do nipples grow back?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
