Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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