Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
