i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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