He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
