And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
