I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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