when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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