After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Are we still banned from the library?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
