drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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