am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
