It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
