So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
