yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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