I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
