I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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