so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize