If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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