I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
