I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
