Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize