dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone came in the potted fern
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
