Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
