the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
