No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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