So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
