Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize