i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
