Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no you cant smoke seaweed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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