so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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